The Odyssey begins with the war of the X.

What is it with the use of 'x' at the end of an email or text message?

Porn XXX? What does it mean now that it has become so overused? And what does it say of trends in sexuality? Are we becoming (permit me to be a bit crude) 'gay'er as a society? - this is no bad thing as such: hygiene for the price of AIDS and two 'x' chromosomes (or 'y's) for the price of one… What is going to happen next - strangers kissing in the streets instead of shaking hands?

If this is the way society tends towards (rather like the occasionally questionable and louche taste of modern, post-modern and post post-modern art), so be it! But still, there is something banal about it all. Why and whence comes this custom? And more importantly: whither it goes? Let us hold on to some degree of tradition while we can!

Originally, the unwritten consensus for the use of x was for inter-familial purposes or from boyfriend to girlfriend or perhaps from girl to girl. But now it is knobbingly attached to the end of every email or blogging post that we write. What's the consensus now?

1 x = minimum;

2, standard;

3, warmer;

4, hot;

5 boyfriend to boyfriend or b to g or g to g or g to b;

6 or more - I can't be bothered to think.

Can there be a lore as abstruse as this?

To recap, this change is no tragedy as such. Indeed, it is good that we can express ourselves freely. However, if, just as while looking at a piece of modern art, you can step back and think "what on earthly hell for?', then it suddenly strikes you that the signet ‘x’ is totally absurd. Modern art is at least inventive and (supposedly) creative, but the signet ‘x’ is always the same. It is a stupendously dull detraction.

In Croatia, Germany and a whole host of other European countries, the positions of the 'x', ‘y’ and 'z' keys on the keyboard have been moved about considerably. Thus, for the pinkie that usually hits the sacred and hallowed xxx, would it now be zzz? That would surely be more exciting. Or even better y? y? y? am i doing dis?

Lamentably, I, too, am guilty of using this neo-barbarism at the end of my Facebook emails or posts. I used to avoid it in texts (I should be writing text- messages just as quotations is the proper, but practically obsolete, term that ought to be used in place of quotes... rofl, rofl – is that what’s ‘hip’ these days?). But, the absence of the ‘x’ came across as cold… and I’m not a cold bastard, though I am querulous.

However,  I learnt that lone resistance will achieve nothing. What do I change on my own? I could be strong and start a movement against the xxx (which would be hard given that the band, the XX, have just won the Mercury Award and there are x amount of people who can't read the Roman alphabet), or I could be feeble and follow what I like to think is the good old British maxim - if you can't beat 'em, join ‘em. So, I salute you 'xxx'-ers. This is only the beginning. Of the war. And the blog. Hugs.

Xxx

Bella, detesta matribus.
Wars are the dread of mothers.
Horace